On Being a Better Client

Let's start at the end: You want improvement. You don't want beads or pots or titles or the lingering smell of goat aroma in the trunk of your car. You don't want to wake up in the middle of the night to do rituals or to shave your head or learn to recite a long prayer in Yoruba. You only do it because you want improvement. In your health, your happiness, your financial stability and sense of self worth, you want your life to get better. And as far as I am concerned, you are justified in expecting your babalawo to help you to achieve those ends. But, at the same time, is there something YOU can do to help improve your results? As the saying goes, It takes two to tango. 

Here's a list of NINE golden steps you can take to build a solid, more productive relationship with your babalawo. Identifying and working with a babalawo has as much to do with the relationship you cultivate as it has to do with what Ifa directs you to do. And while there is a relatively high expectation about what the babalawo is supposed to do for you, how much thought do you give to your role in this relationship? Where are YOU in this proverbial tango? 

1. Be Enthusiastic: When you approach the priest and you have agreed to carry out some series of tasks that are intended to resolve your problems, let your enthusiasm show. If you like the work being done, let the babalawo know you like it. If you don't like it, let him know. Be enthusiastic about your experience every step of the way so that your team doesn't have to guess what's going on with you. 

2. Be Honest: Be honest with your baba, and let him be honest with you. You do want to be amicable with one another, but your goal is not to blow sunshine or pretend to be in a state of spiritual euphoria all the time. Again, you're ultimately looking for what works. Set all the egocentrism aside and say what needs to be said in order to support the best idea.

3. Be Human: Remember that you're dealing with individuals, not a corporation or an institution. Let your humanity show so that the relationship with your babalawo is authentic. If you have a sense of humor, share it as is appropriate. If you need to sleep or eat or talk about something that is not related to the work but is distracting you, let your baba know what's going on. 

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4. Be Consistent: The small things you do consistently are more powerful than the big things you say from time to time. If you have an entirely different agenda every time you sit on the mat and every time you speak to the baba, you're making it hard to maintain momentum and direction. Running around putting out fires is an emotional rush. But it is a total waste of time, energy and money. Focus and follow through until the goal is attained. 

5. Be a Big Thinker: When your babalawo presents you with an idea, tells you a verse of Ifa or interprets something for you, don't get stuck in the details, at least not at first. First think BIG. Is the direction a right fit for achieving your destiny? Does it jive well with your Ancestral Promise? Learn to be physically, emotionally and mentally focused in the consultations, rituals and ceremonies and it will reflect in your practice. 

6. Be a Partner: Avoid passive participation at all costs. If we revisit the tango analogy, imagine how bad the dance would look if one person is literally carrying the other. Your job is to follow the babalawo's lead but that does not mean you act like a sack of potatoes. Invest in the outcomes. Tell your babalawo what you're experiencing, what feels like it's on and what feels off, but stop there.  You're job is to let him know what's right or wrong, not how to fix it.

7. Be Ambitious: If you are one of those people who fantasizes about hiding in the dark corners, doing your work inconspicuously, hoping to one day be discovered, you should let that go ASAP. Nobody has the time, resources and energy to go searching under rocks for hidden talent. If you really intend to live the medicine that will heal your life and the lives of the people you serve, then you need to get out there; be heard, be seen, be recognized by the people you want to recognize you. Go to where they are. Tell them what you're offering. To achieve greatness means trying new directions—and taking risks. Your babalawo cannot do that for you. 

8. Be Inclusive: If you're married and part of your growth or your ability to improve directly involves your spouse, include him or her in the process.  If you're in a business partnership and part of your ability to thrive depends upon your partner's buy-in, invite her or him to the table, too. In business, we call these people stakeholders. If some part of what you aspire to requires that you also comply with commitments you have to other people, it's important that your babalawo receives those objectives directly—not filtered through layers and buffers. The best work is usually done in an atmosphere of involvement—not isolation.

9. Be Likeable: Human services professionals tend to do their best work for people they like. Good clients are friendly clients. They are likeable people. That doesn't necessarily mean things are always easy. But your energy has to communicate the idea that I like what we're doing and I want it to be successful. 

Obafemi's VIP consultation is rooted in the understanding that personal experiences create spiritual values. To discuss your personal situation and begin the interview process, please contact Obafemi at 510.485.2336.